This is one of those passages where Jesus just seems mean. Cold. Unfeeling. He is certainly not pastoral here. I tend to gloss over this passage. I don’t like it. But it’s there. Staring at me with a silent scream, demanding that I listen to it, look at it, and deal with it. I don’t want Jesus to sound this way. I want Jesus to have more empathy and patience for his followers, but when he calls, does he ever say, “Hey, here’s a thought? Have you ever thought about following me? Why don’t you take some time, talk to your spouse, and see if it fits with your family’s needs.” No, the text says, “they left their nets and followed him”. Jesus calls us to leave everything, to make him primary, and begin doing his work right here, right now. I just wish he showed a little more empathy for the bereaved.
In the context of this verse, I’ve often heard the question asked: “What obstacles do you have in following Jesus?” It’s a fair and even good question. For me, the truth is, my family is the first thing that comes to mind. Can we pastors just say that out loud? Were it not for my family I could live this itinerant life as freely as I like and as the Bishop calls. My wandering spirit could roam from town to town, up and down the dial. But, when I drill down into this a little more the truth is my family is anything but an “obstacle”.
They are not keeping me from following Jesus. Not at all. In fact, without them, I don’t think I would know how to follow Jesus. They have been key players in my spiritual formation. I didn’t understand the discipline of patience prior to having children. I lacked self-control prior to getting married. Having a family forces me to live in real intimacy, not some feigned or veiled version of it. They’re like a mirror constantly showing me who I am and what I could become.
The obstacle to following Jesus is not my family. It’s me. It’s my pride, it’s my anger, it’s my arrogance, my impulsiveness, my narrow and idealized views. I wonder if Jesus calls us not to recklessly abandon responsibility, but more so to turn away from ourselves- our false selves, that is. The self that isn’t whole and ends up using others to figure itself out. Jesus calls us to deny our own self fulfilling desires and to rise up and follow him to a whole new way of living. A way of living that recognizes the formative power of God in our lives. That’s what following Jesus is- living a life fully tapped into the formative power of God’s grace. So perhaps the more clear and appropriate question is not “what are your obstacles to following Jesus?”, but “what in my life is an obstacle to the formative power of God’s grace?”
Moving Through Matthew 